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Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Funny story from People In The World



1.
Of course you all know by Kublai Khan. Yup, the Mongol emperor who was very cruel and expansive, this turned out to have a very high tolerance side. Believe it not, Kublai Khan is a prominent leader of the world's first to declare that the great days of Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam serve as the official state holiday. Just so you know, Kublai Khan was a grandson of Genghis Khan who is legendary in power stretching from the borders of Europe, the Middle East, until almost all of East Asia in the 13th century. In other words, the official state holiday on a day of religion in the world is allowing to be done by Kublai Khan as the breadth of his domain.

2.
Galileo Galilei was a human who is less fortunate in his life. Even after death, though, Galileo still having trouble. After his scientific views about the solar system to make him deal with the church, his death was dogged by problems. Time of his death in 1642, his body was not immediately buried, but still kept up in 1737, roughly a century hampis. Not enough, before buried in the Church of Santa Croce, Florence, Italy, a noble heart to cut off three fingers of Galileo as a "memento". Two of the finger was then owned by an Italian doctor, and the third finger, middle finger-piece is currently at the Museum of the History of Science in Florence, Italy, on display pointing to the sky on top of a marble column.

3.
Abraham Lincoln, in 1831 he menagalami bankruptcy in business. In 1832 he suffered a defeat in local elections. In 1833 he again went bankrupt. In 1835 his wife died. In 1836 he suffered severe mental distress and about to enter a mental hospital. In 1837, he lost in a speech contest. In 1840, he failed in the U.S. senate elections. In 1842, he suffered a defeat to sit in the U.S. Congress. In 1848 he lost again in Congress. 1855, once again failed in the Senate. In 1856 he lost the vice presidential seat. In 1858 he was again defeated in the Senate. In 1860 he finally became president of the United States. The essence of his uniqueness is never give up with a variety of failures that have been experienced, even irrespective of how the ordeal. Try and try again!

4.
Johannes Brahms (1833-1897), the great German composer, was one who hates animals. At the time relaxing or looking for inspiration, composers often went to the attic his house and preparing a bow and arrow. There almost every time he was shooting at his neighbor's cats. These bad habits continue to do until the rest of his life!

5.
Napoeon Bonaparte, while fighting in the Middle East in 1799 intends to release the 1200 Turkish soldiers who had captured the French, when the French managed to seize Jaffa. At that time Napoleon was stricken with influenza. When inspecting the troops, Napoleon severe coughing until he said "Ma sacre toux" (damn cough). Napoleon was an officer escort the general to say "Massacrez Tous" (Kill all). As a result, all 1200 Turkish prisoners were killed. Just because the general cough and ear officer error!

6.
Wilhelm Steinitz was one of the most brilliant chess player in the world. But while the older, he slowly plagued by madness, and often feels that he can call someone without using the phone, or play chess without the pieces touching. The peak of madness occurs when Steinitz announced to the public that he wanted to challenge God to play chess. Worse yet, it offers fur a pawn in this game!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

6 Ways to Deal With This Goddamn Heat

Just some help to get you through the summer.

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Yes, it's hot. But it's not the end of the world. Yet. Soon, yes, but we'll deal with that another day. In the meantime, don't freak out. Here are a few ways to deal with this onslaught of heat. 

Sit in Your Air Conditioning Like a Fucking Boss

Look, do not feel guilty about sitting around all day blasting your AC, running up your electric bill. This is why you have an air conditioner: to condition the air. And this air needs so much conditioning. So take off your clothes and sit in front of that AC all day. Or don't take off your clothes. Depends how cool your roommates/family members are. 

Go For a Swim

This is probably a given, but not all of us have access to water and are forced to show up at public pools where you're the only adult without a child. Totally worth it though. And if you're uncomfortable with the judging eyes of moms clutching their children (probably because they love them so much), just bring a bunch of children's toys and candy. This will imply that you, also, have a child and these moms, who may or may not be calling the police by now, can just relax.

Stalk the Ice Cream Truck

You can do this after being escorted from the public pool since you'll likely still be hot and not satisfied with the abrupt ending to your swim. But where to find this elusive ice cream truck? Your best bet is to follow the children from the pool, who'll likely know the route of the local Good Humor man. If you want to get there faster, tell the kids to get in your car and you'll drive them. If they're hesitant, simply tell them that you'll buy them ice cream upon reaching your destination and to stop asking for their mothers. It shouldn't be a problem since kids love ice cream. 

Watch 'Do The Right Thing' and Constantly Look Out Your Window To Make Sure a Garbage Can Isn't Being Thrown At You

This may just be a me thing, but when it's this hot out, I kind of assume racial tension will reach a boiling point and Spike Lee will be fucking shit up and for some reason I will be at the center of it even though I did nothing but sit inside and enjoy my air conditioner but maybe that's the source of it all? Maybe I'm the problem? Again, may just be a me thing.

Die From Heat Exhaustion

Yes, it's the easy way out. But it's a totally viable option and nobody would judge your for it. 

Not Complain About It?

Okay, okay. I know this is a radical plan, but let's just put this heatwave in its proper context in relation to our planet's evolving climate: we're all fucked. This is the hottest year ever of all time, right? I think that's a fact. And it's only going to get worse. And that's too bad, for sure, but complaining won't change a goddamn thing. Do you think people in the Holocaust were all like "Ugh, this sucks" all the time? No. And I don't think I'm taking a leap here at all in comparing one of the most catastrophic events of human history to the fact that I sweat through my shirt one time.

16 Poorly Placed Stickers

"Nothing could go wrong by placing this sticker here." - the wonderfully naive people behind these

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14 Hilarious Moments in Misspellings

(Description redacted due to poster's fear of having a spelling mistake)
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Halloween FAIL: Too much time spent on a Pet Costume

My mate, Danny spent all weekend making this for his dog. Moments after this was taken, the dog took a giant dump in the costume then ripped it to shreds.

15 Signs Improved by Hilarious Graffiti

Who says vandalism is a bad thing?

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The 14 Funniest Examples of the Lawyer Dog Meme

Tired of these? Don't care. This one has a very professional dog involved.
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